Bunny here,

Well I'm finally getting the knack of being a housewife. OK I'm not exactly a housewife, I'm more of a house-sister/daughter/dog-owner/whatever. I digress. But seriously, have you ever wondered, just what do housewives do all day? I'll tell you.

1. Breakfast. Seems simple, right? However, we can't have eggs and toast or oatmeal every day of the week, but this is too messy and that takes too long to make. Fine, just grab a box of cheerios.

2. Dishes. Clear the table, stack the dishes in the dishpan, run the water, grab the soap- wait, someone put the soap away. Now just where is "away"? Oh, under the sink. Now the washcloth. But the one from yesterday is dry and a little crusty. Run downstairs, rifle through the laundry buckets, no clean washcloths, pull hair. Fine, back upstairs, rinse the old washcloth in very hot water. Wash the dishes while listening to march classics to calm frazzled nerves.

3. Now- wait, the dogs have been whining and sitting on their leashes ever since dishes. Fine. round up dogs, clip on leashes. Stay... Okay, go ahead. Not that fast! This is a walk, remember? You, slow down, he's trying to sniff. You, speed up, she wants to go. Heel, Heel! Good kids! Okay, run. You, slow down, we're not training for the Ironman. You, speed up, we want to get home before supper time. Good kids, we're home.

4. Nap in front of air conditioner.

5. Lunch. Maybe just sandwiches. Wait, there's those eggs that weren't used for breakfast. Maybe make a quiche? No butter for pie dough, maybe a pizza crust would work. Mix up pizza crust. Wait, does anyone else like quiche? Fine, save it for another day. Now there's this pizza dough. Fine, pizza for lunch.

6. Five-thousand-things-in-five-minutes. Dash around like a chicken with it's head cut off putting away random items while listening to break-neck speed music.

7. Vacuum.

8. Laundry. Back downstairs. Watch period drama while folding, sorting, and stacking clothes for distribution into drawers upstairs.

9. Freelance writing.

10. Yard work. Scoop doggie-do, pull weeds, dump weeds into paper bag, spray weeds on rock pile, contemplate trimming bushes, decide to let that wait for tomorrow, spray Japanese beetles eating bushes with dog shampoo, pick flowers for indoor vases.

11. Start Supper.

12. Relax. Get on computer to check e-mail.

At this step the family will come home from work, see you on the computer and say, "Haven't you done anything today?"

There you go, twelve easy steps to being a housewife. Easy, right?

Signing off,

Bunny